Happy Customers

"If I tell you that your shop is amazing will you please make sure my advneturers dont die. i'm so tired."

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Chaos is a god that exisited apparently since the start of time and is like a business representation for The Main Characters The Adventuring Party. We're not only a great party for CELEBRITIES but also OLD PEOPLE! (NOTE:The wifey told me that calling the primordal god a old person might be offensive.) Currently the dude is taking a nap from having a bunch of his power away but we - cookie and cream - are scouting out for his ANCIENT ARTIFACTS that regain his stamina B). We'll make the party go after them though because we're not fighters, we just provide for the fighters!

"Despite their horrible taste in graphic design and fashion they don't discriminate against other species or make ASSUMPTIONS about them. My boss greatly apprecaites it."

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This guy talked to me for hours about vampire stereotypes and it was really boring. Also weird because he dresses like a stereotypical vampire... You think he knows? ANYWAY Though yeah we support all kinds of species! Given you aren't a vampire clan that's going to chew on me like I chew on my cookies then you're a certified customer in my eyes! I haven't met his boss but i'm sure he's a great guy if he keeps sending this boy off. Also hey! I get it! He's kinda annoying so I don't judge him for sending him off as a messenger or whatever this guy is for.

"gruhgh....."

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I'm going to frank with you I can't speak reanimated corpse. They came with the party though and he's totally in religious robes so either he converted or he's just here I guess. Either way we supply for dead creatures! I'm pretty sure some of the reanimated become entirely new people after their brian die right? Vivi also said that Gruhgh meant 'good' so that means the zombie thinks our shop is GOOD!

"^___^ I LIKE THIS SHOPPE!!!!!!!!!!! GIVES GOOD SNREAKY SPACE AND ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO FOOD :3333333333333333333333333333333333333333 RECOMMEND 10/10"

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Our base location of operations exisit in a place not many know about! I really don't know how this fella got in but they left a good review B). IF YOU CAN GET HERE YOU CAN HIDE FROM ANY CRIMINALS COMING AFTER YOU! We have a LIFETIME SUPPLIES OF COOKIES! Also noteworthy, while we're not a kiddy-business we offer babysitting services for 40 gold pieces a day (free if you're a adventurer, we get the grind B)) Also if you can find our base operations you get 3 items FREE!! Or in this kids case they just stole from us.

"Um, sure, the shop is fine. But the statements on Davlamir are frankly unacceptable.

Firstly, while yes, he may be a "criminal" in the eyes of the kingdom, a criminal is not necessarily a bad person. In fact his "crimes" are very noble and has done more for his community than the kingdom ever has. Secondly, Pet Pimp is a step-father who was never present for his upbringing, so your associations don't hold any water either. Davlamir is a sweet and kind person and your attacks are unwarranted."

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We do not take such accusations unacceptable folks which Is why I thought it was apporpriate to show off this review. While maybe this reply SEEMS reasonable you ahve to consider that this source is NOT TRUTSTWORTHY! How do I know this? Simple! She is a regular OF THE PET PIMP and also WANTS TO TOTALLY KISS THAT RAT GUY. You can't trust someone who works for our sleazy competitiors and their step son. We allow criticism but we DOn'T allow PERSONAL BIAS GETTING IN THE WAY. Also he's a interdimensional traveling robot, how do you really know if he didn't just time hop to when he was a baby? Right? He could've taught that baby how to stab and it went all downhill from there. Let this be known- becareful of what reviews you see online folks!

"He appeared in my room without much warning when I was trying to go to bed next to my wife. Honestly, I almost froze him in fear. Also, he doesn't like my dog much, but he did give me a cool rock."

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Ok to be fair this was back when I wasn't NEARLY as skilled at traveling time and dimensions. TRUST ME FOLKS, i mway better at that shit now. Anyway that aside - and also your SCARY ASS dog that THREATENED TO 'DISINTEGRATE ME' - this just proves how great of a salesman and provider our business is! I ***DID*** GIVE A REALY COOL ROCK!!! I COULD GIVE YOU A COOL ASS ROCK!! I'm scared of your dog though. Idk where the pet pimp finds these fucking things.